Wednesday, July 31, 2019

I Thought At The Time


I thought at the time she was the most amazing woman in the world. July 31, 1999, I was just 20 years old. 10 days into being 20, in fact. Young, naïve, but “old for my age,” I thought. We were holding hands in the church where we met 15 years before. There was an awesome, baritone voiced man, Burney Enzor telling a crowd of friends and family about marriage. We were repeating our vows to be with one another forever. I remember thinking how crazy it was that we were getting married. And I wasn’t alone. Friends told me later that they were whispering during the wedding that this was so surreal. “Is this really happening?”

She was everything to me then. She was my friend. She was my focus and my reason for growing up and deciding to do more. We were going to do so many awesome things and all we had to do was have each other. We lit a candle to show the joining of our family and the start of our life together. We prayed, we kissed, and were presented as Mr. and Mrs. for the first time. I thought at the time she was the most amazing woman in the world.

Then life happens. We bought a house and started our next phase of college. She was determined. She was driven and she drove me to keep going. I was working full time and taking classes at night to keep some kind of momentum for my degree. She was working part-time and balancing a full time college course load for her Communications Disorders major. We had bills. We didn’t always have the money to pay them. She would pay one thing, delay another just long enough and then pay that before being late. Then do homework and study. Then remind me to study. Life got more complicated. It was hard. It was just us, but somehow life seemed to have gotten so challenging and busy. I changed jobs a few times to try to improve our financial situation a little. She helped me write resumes, helped me see what I was good at and to find the right opportunities. Then she’d study some more before bed and pay a few more bills, remind me about a doctor’s appointment and that she would be taking the dog to the vet the next day before class. We’d kiss good night and I would think about how much I loved her and I thought at the time she was the most amazing woman in the world.

But things change. She was pregnant and we were sure this was going to be so much fun. Things were just going to keep getting better. It was no longer just us. We were going to have a child together. How cool is that? We still hadn’t quite finished our degrees, but that’s no problem. I was almost done, maybe a couple of semesters to go. She finished her degree first. Going to final classes while pregnant, working, and still managing our life. Then she and I discussed my progress and decided I would go full time to school to finish my degree and she would switch to full time work. And so, she did. She started working full time to support our family while I finished my degree, got student loans, and worked part time. In a few more months we had both graduated. Not as easy as expected, but done. Now life was going to be a breeze. And I thought at the time she was the most amazing woman in the world.

And then reality hits. In 2002, we had our first son. It was awful. What in the world was this ridiculousness? He cried all the time and was the single most high-strung baby I’d ever met. And she was tired, sad, stressed, and a little angry, usually at me which I typically deserved. He was glued to her and she couldn’t rest. I didn’t know how to help and was not as good at this as I thought I’d be. We kept it together, though. We started figuring some things out. We (I) got less selfish. I was recruited out of college by a great company, but it required another move. Her support was unwavering. With our new, beautiful, and incredibly annoying bundle of joy we decided to go for it. We moved and she was as organized as ever and pushed me to my limits, like always. This, while also laying the foundation for our son to be the best he could be. She decided that her goals had changed and that she would stay home and raise him to be the man we knew he could be. Not just me, now. Not just her. A whole new world was starting for us and she was at the core. And I thought at the time she was the most amazing woman in the world.

Unfortunately, the new job wasn’t awesome. We missed home and family. We felt alone and with a small son it was tough. Money was still tight, despite the solve everything degrees and now, on top of that she was pregnant again. We were excited about our next little boy. He was going to be awesome, too, but let’s be honest. If the first year was going to go down like his brother’s, we’d like access to help. She was always supportive, but just as important she expected me to be everything I could be for our family. It wasn’t negative or positive. It was a simple fact that had always been there between her and me. It served as a pillar of strength and as my courage to reach higher. Or to simply pay attention to the needs of our growing family and what was best for them. So, we moved again. Coming closer to home and figuring out what would come next. We had our new son and he was a completely different kid. That wasn’t expected, but he was really quiet and happy (whew!) and we had figured out our family raising strategy. Things were still hard, but getting more of a rhythm to life. She was focused on two little boys, less than two years apart. She was keeping our family organization running smoothly and somehow still keeping me in line. And I thought at the time she was the most amazing woman in the world.

But life did what life does and got messy. We had a third son, but this time we didn’t care how loud he might be or how challenging. We just wanted him to be okay. It was sobering to see him in his oxygen tent and hear doctors saying stuff like “life flight him to Pensacola.” That was hard and scary. I broke down when that was mentioned. But not her. She just went to his bedside and talked calmly to nurses and doctors. She found out more info and, as always, inspired me to focus on the solution and next steps. We prayed. We had awesome friends support us and Joel came home, bigger than life and ready to drive us crazy in normal baby ways. And she was there. She was always keeping things together. Managing three boys under 5, now. Keeping our household together. Organizing church events and managing a bible study at our house. Our life had gotten absolutely crazy with busyness. And I thought at the time she was the most amazing woman in the world.

Life continues to change, faster and faster every moment. We had more and farther moves. She nearly single-handedly got two of our boys through middle school and into high school. She decided to get a job teaching pre-school, then come home and be the teacher, counselor, and mother to our three and manage realities of life dealing with loss of loved ones and helping manage her mom’s healthcare. The stresses are ever present, but so is she. Her focus hasn’t changed. It’s always been the same. To be the core of our family. To challenge me and our boys to be the men we all should be and to help us get there. She overwhelms me. I can’t imagine how I would have or could have done anything in my life without her. Nor how our children could possibly function in any way without the example she’s provided. She inspires, encourages, challenges, corrects, and counsels all of us in every way that we need it, whenever we need it, or even when we don’t think we do. She’s there. She’s always been there in my life.

On that hot day in July 1999, she sang a song as part of our wedding. “From This Moment,” by Shania Twain. It was a surprise for me. We stood holding hands and I heard these lyrics in her voice:

“From this moment life has begun. From this moment you are the one. Right beside you is where I belong. From this moment on.”

It’s now July 31, 2024. I’m forty-five years old. Just 10 days into being forty-five, in fact. Twenty-five years since I married my friend. And I know that she has been and is the most amazing woman in the world. From this moment on.

















Thursday, September 17, 2015

I saw that we haven't updated this in a really long time...so here's our crew now....





Gabe is playing football at Ridgeview Middle School and for an organization called the Wranglers.  He's an awesome kid, smart and I can't believe almost a teenager.   










Noah is doing gymnastics.  He's been doing it for a few months now and is really getting better.  He likes it a lot.  I think he likes that he gets one-on-one attention from us when he goes too.  Noah loves to tell stories.  He adds details that may or may not be true but he just wants your attention.  He loves to climb on EVERYTHING








Joel is our funny guy.  He is also playing football for the Wranglers.  It's his first year in tackle but is LOVING it.  It's so nice to see him liking something.  If you come to our house, he'll show you his helmet.  :) 






We are really busy with these three.  Football is pretty much our life right now.  Practice for Joel is three days a week.  Gabe goes to school at 6:30 for the middle school practice and has practice 2 other days of the week for the Wranglers.  We have games on Mondays and Saturdays. Gymnastics is Wednesdays.  We are thinking of starting our own life group again at the church we have recently joined and I've agreed to teach the 5th graders on Sunday mornings.  Throw in  Jonathan making trips back to Tallahassee every so often and we are just one basket of craziness.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Lake Ella...

Today, the boys and I went for a walk around Lake Ella and fed some ducks. I tried to get a few pictures of them because it is always so beautiful there however...they really didn't cooperate. Here's a few!




Gabe




Noah


Joel a few days before his 2nd Birthday!!!






Crazy boys!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

A weekend with no boys!!!


Last Saturday morning, Jonathan & I drove to Blounstown to meet my Mom. My parents decided to take all three boys for the weekend since Jonathan and I had to be in Gainesville early on Tuesday morning. This is the first time I have been away from the boys over night since Joel was born and away for a few days since Gabe was born. WAY OVER DUE!!! Saturday was fun, we went to a Birthday party with no kids. It was great not being stressed about the boys and not sweating from chasing after them. We then went to a few stores that we wouldn't want to take three boys in. We just enjoyed the afternoon. Later we grilled steaks! After about 2 hours of being home it was just way too quiet so we went to Books a Million. It was so nice not to have to go to the kiddie section. We each got something yummy to drink and just sat reading our books. AAH!!!


Sunday, we skipped church. Sorry Pastor Matt! We slept in (very rare at our house) and drove to St. George Island for the day. It was wonderful. We enjoyed just sitting and doing nothing. Jonathan built a sand castle even with no kids around or bucket & shovel. We also got to see some dolphins not twenty feet from us. I tried to catch a picture but like kids...they move too fast. We loved not having to bring an entire car load to the beach and just enjoyed each other! When we got home we met up with Brad and June and went to Olive Garden (one of my favorites) which is way to expensive to take all three kids. Then the four of us went to Seminole Bowling. What a fun day & night!




The castle!

St. George Lighthouse

Monday, Jonathan had to work so I slept in, went for a walk and then took my time at the grocery store. I then put all the groceries away and cleaned a little bit. I think I even took a nap! I later went to the gym and just had a relaxing night of NO arguing, fighting, or whatever ever else my boys can do. (All which they are doing right this very second! HA!)

Tuesday morning around 4:30 we were off to Gainesville, which is a separate blog. What did I learn from being away from my boys??? That I love them very much and our life has become very noisy but entertaining. I enjoyed spending time with my husband. We could have grown up conversations and even do things without planning. I loved how we picked on each other like we used to and could even laugh when one of us said something really dumb and not have to explain it to a six year old that has to know everything. Jonathan did still catch me spelling out things even with no kids around. Overall, the most adult conversations I think we have had in a very long time. Thank goodness for Grandparents!







Kelly's Health News...

Last Tuesday, Jonathan and I traveled to Shands in Gainesville to find out exactly how bad my bladder was and to confirm my IC diagnosis. After a few hours of waiting to be called back...it's finally my turn. The doctor explains that they are doing a "simple" procedure to find out the capacity of my bladder...the procedure takes 10 minutes but I have to be put to sleep because it can be painful. I wake up...in a lot of pain. The nurses give me tons of pain medicine to try to help me but nothing is helping. I finally am able to get up and go to the bathroom and find a little relief however now I feel like I am about to be sick. They get me back into the rolling recliner and finally wheel me to Jonathan. After several doses of nausea medicine and another bag of fluids...Jonathan then tells me the NEWS!

A normal bladder for a female my age should hold 1000 cc's. Someone with IC's bladder will hold around 750 cc's. My bladder would only hold 450 cc's. WHAT?!? The doctor was able to stretch my bladder to hold 500 however there is nothing he can do to fix the damage. Wow! No wonder I have been miserable the last year and had these problems most of my life!!! I go back in a few weeks, July 7th, to see what else there is to do and to be put on the only medication prescribed for IC. So, please just keep me in your prayers. It's great to know what has been going on but also not so nice to know you have a very damaged bladder!




Jonathan took my picture right before I went in for the procedure!!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter 2009 Pictures

All three boys Easter Sunday!





Gabe's Baptism






Gabe was so excited & the water was SOOO cold!







Both boys ready before their t-ball games at the same time....different fields. The fun begins.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Gabe's Witness

This morning, Kelly was dropping Gabriel off at school. You'll remember in my last post I said he is being baptized this week. Well, his teacher pulled Kelly aside and said, "Yesterday, Gabe told me he was going to be baptized this weekend." Kelly confirmed this and the teacher continued. "When he told me that, another little boy asked 'What does Baptized mean?'" The teacher told Kelly that she couldn't answer that question or talk about religion, so she just acted busy with her papers. The little boy then looked to Gabe. Gabriel told him what it was and meant. What happened next was amazing. The teacher said that the boy asked Gabe how you get baptized. Gabe's first reaction was "Well, you go talk to Pastor Matt..." I laughed when I heard that. But then he stopped and said..."actually, first you need to have Jesus in your heart." The little boy and Gabe apparently talked a little while longer and the boy responded by saying..."I don't go to church so I didn't know what baptism was, but now I want to ask my mom and dad if they'll take me to church so I can be baptized!" The teacher said it was awesome. She told Kelly that she couldn't have answered the boys questions any better. I was amazed at how quickly the Holy Spirit has begun using Gabe. He just had his first witnessing experience and God spoke through him. Praise God for surrounding Gabe and for speaking through him yesterday. I hope he continues being a light of Christ.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Gabriel's Baptism

I am so very proud of Gabriel. Last night, he and I had a conversation with our Pastor and Gabriel is going to be baptized on Easter Sunday, April 12, 2009!! The Holy Spirit has been at work on Gabe for a couple of months. He has been asking a lot of questions and Kelly and I have talked with him at length about everything. After he started asking so many questions, I decided to walk with him through several versus in the Bible and really get an understanding of where he was. Then, one night after we'd talked, I was putting him to bed and he called for me. I went to his bedside and he said he wanted to ask Jesus to come into his heart. So, we talked for a few minutes and I made sure he knew what that meant and really understood it. I was satisfied with his answers and I helped him pray. That night, my oldest son became a Christian! We then went to visit with Matt, our Pastor and he asked Gabe some tougher questions than I did, admittedly. Gabe was not quite comprehending eternity and destinations, etc. completely, so Matt didn't think he was totally ready. So, we didn't push him and we just kept talking with him occasionally about everything. Then a couple of weeks ago, Gabe started asking and saying some very interesting things. Finally, when I asked him how long you stay in Heaven and he proceeded to tell me "Forever...well, at least until new Heaven..." (I never told him about new earth) and he continued explaining to me that he was referring to when heaven and earth come together (thank you Awana and G-Force) I knew he was ready. So, again...we went to see Matt and Gabriel knew and understood everything. Matt said he was ready and we are having a baptism service on Sunday!! I am really kind of beside myself with this. It all came about so fast and I can only hope I've been and will be a good Christian example for him. The road isn't easy and this is a journey that he is just now beginning. But, I know where the road leads and that Gabriel is with God.