Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Project Termination

Official Notice: The Conrad experiment of militia building by natural means will come to an end, effective July 2007. The experiment, code named "we-ad-a-baby-itsa-boy" has been deemed a tremendous success. This project, spanning only 4 years, has provided our nation with three super soldiers capable of wearing down ANY enemy in only minutes. The information below is classified.

Version 1.0 - Code Name "Gabriel"

Gabriel is an exceptional warrior with keen awareness and adaptation capabilities. He is quick to embrace new technologies and strategies through observation and training. As with most 1.0's, he experienced focused, one-on-one training and protection for the first 2 years of his service. He shows natural leadership abilities with 1.0's from other programs around the country as well as newer versions. Note: Though he is showing growth and control, it is unwise to employ 1.0's at this stage of training to command or control newer versions from the same facility. Hostility from newer versions and the 1.0 may occur.

Warning: Gabriel has the unexpected ability to change personalities exceptionally fast. He is gifted in the art of negotiation and has the ability to combine personality change with this skill to gain control of any situation. Our scientists, known as "Parents" were sometimes slow to understand this phenomenon. However, a laboratory has been created to solve this issue. Called the C-MACC or Counter Manipulation and Attitudinal Correction Center, this facility is affectionately called the "room." Gabriel also displays a cunning ability to wear down opposition with a technique called, "Hounding." This technique shows great strength of will and determination whereby Gabriel besieges the target and remains focused on one mission, sometimes for hours, slowly eroding defenses.

Version 2.0 - Code Name "Noah"

Noah is a gifted soldier and has shown remarkable abilities to observe and learn from version 1.0 and the Parents. He has proven himself exceptionally gifted in covert ops with stealth capabilities. When captured, he uses natural gifts to morph himself and convince his captors of his innocence and peaceful intentions. He is also adept at incorporating version 1.0 into his plans, sometimes without his knowledge. He is known to use 1.0 as a smoke screen to escape and accomplish his goals undetected. He is a determined warrior and will achieve his mission, at all costs.

Warning: Noah has shown the unexpected ability to focus, without distraction on tasks not sanctioned by the Parents. Once an unsanctioned mission has begun, Noah will disregard any command given from the Parents to halt his advances. Noah has adapted and is virtually unaffected by the C-MACC lab. On occasion, Noah will also become hostile to version 1.0 and without Parent interaction, damage to the facility and both soldiers will occur.

Version 3.0 - Code Name "Joel"

Unknown - Project Underway. Observation and training to begin July 2007.

3 comments:

Carey said...

that is HILARIOUS!

Sir Vance-a-lot said...

frickin awesome.

Samantha Kagy said...

You are cracking me up!