I know the Truth, but don't completely understand it.

(Note: Please comment on this post with your thoughts. I'd love to have your insights and hear from other Christ followers. We understand things together.)

This is going to be another "controversial" post for some. Let me start by saying that I want my faith to be that of a child. I hear the questions my sons ask me. So sincere is their heart in wanting to understand God, faith, death. That's the way I want my faith to be. Pure, sincere, open and to the point. So I am going to be blunt with childlike realism. I have over the years (and a lot recently) been trying to get to the core of what I believe spiritually. At the core, I believe in God. I believe He hears us. I believe in His love for us and that He sent His son to die for us. This I believe. I have faith in that.

Now, let's get to the harder stuff. I truly believe in asking questions of God when you don't understand. I think it's good to question. I think He wants us to question. I think questions are okay. I think fear is okay. I think admitting that you don't have a clue or shred of understanding of God, His plan, His world or His heaven is okay. All of these are okay as long as you are seeking the answer. Don't let doubts turn your heart, but rather ask it bluntly and most importantly, be open to His answer.

Here are some of my biggest questions and I'm okay with saying I don't know or understand them. I'll even go as far as to say that sometimes I doubt them. But one doesn't learn without asking. I say these things out loud as David did and John the Baptist did. I ask these things of God quite frequently as God says we can. To ask is to learn. To question is to gain wisdom.

Why the game? Why this long game of cat and mouse with Satan? He could have destroyed Satan in the war in heaven. Why cast him down with humans? If I'm battling a snake in my yard, do I throw it in the house with my children? Why let him run the Earth? Why converse with Satan so casually about the suffering of one of God's children (Job)? Why not strike him down then? Why reveal Satan to us in scripture only to have us battle with his attacks, when in the end Satan's efforts are all futile. Is it simply to strengthen us through battle? Is it simply to force a choice for us? Is it because only through trial do we show our true loyalty? Aren't good people lost because of this game? People that would have chosen God if it weren't for the game? I don't understand this game. I don't know the rules. It's real time strategy, but I don't control very much of the map and I can't see the enemy. I wish I knew the gameplan, but I have faith in His leadership.

Prayer: Yes. Shock!! I don't understand prayer. Prayer has been proven, even by science to be good for you. It makes you healthier, happier, and less stressed. Sometimes, I can't help but to have questions though. Is prayer God's spiritual placebo? Does He really answer prayers? The fact that we can just dismiss an unanswered prayer as a "No" seems to easy. With some prayers being answered, many not and many we just forget about, I can't help but to wonder if it's all just coincidental. What if God wants us to pray because it's good for us. It helps us "give it to Him" because that's the way it happens anyway. He is a practical God. He gave really practical laws to the Jews regarding health and cleanliness. It helped them through the black plague. What if things just happen because that's God's plan and praying is just something to help us deal with it? Or, maybe He does answer prayers. I don't know. But I do pray, though not enough and I know He hears us and I know that in the Old Testament He did answer them and even changed His mind when Moses lobbied to save the Israelites. But, I'm no Moses. Regardless if it's for an answer or just for peace of mind, I pray and will pray...if for no other reason than a chance to talk to an awesome God and remind myself that He is in control.

Heaven: Yep. No clue, there. Don't know what it's like. Don't know where it is. Don't know when you actually go there (right when you die? or before, during or after the Second Coming?). Don't know what happens when you get there. I just don't know or understand anything about it and I also have a fear that when I get there they'll laugh and say "there's been some kind of mistake." Come on, I'm not the only one scared that will happen.

Earth and Creation:

(Big category) I'll try to keep this one short, but it has a lot in it. Dinosaurs (when, why, how long, what's the purpose, why before man)?

Is man really the only creature with a soul on Earth? Look, I'm not an animal lover. In fact, I don't like very many. However, it isn't hard to notice that there are other animals on Earth that are capable of immense compassion, complex thought, mercy, maybe even love (Great Apes come to mind). These animals feel and react to pain both physical and emotional. Are they soulless? Are they throw away beings? I don't think God thinks that.

How about those animals and how they got there. This is really hard to put out there, but I have questions about Noah. Every animal? Two of them? On a boat? Only survivors and just two of each species repopulated the entire earth? Genetically, it isn't possible for two to make a sustainable population. Researchers are trying to save species around the planet, but when they are down to two...it's over. There is no saving the species. So, either God stepped in (which could have been the case) or more animals survived the flood and Noah just had the best stock. The studs if you will. Who knows?

Finally, the big one. Adam and Eve. On the same note as above...we know two can't make a sustainable population. Incest, etc. come in there as well and that has always bothered me. Did God create more humans and it just isn't mentioned? Did he just make it possible for that time? We see the damage this kind of breeding can have. How did it happen then? How did it work for both Adam and Eve and Noah (who also had to repopulate the Earth)? I don't know.

I want to say again, that I am not saying that any of these are impossible or that I don't believe in them. I have faith in each of these. We are talking about a mighty God who can do anything. I'm just saying that these are topics I wonder about. Do we really have a grasp to understand this stuff? I am not one to just say "it is so because it is and to question it is wrong." I also believe these are major questions that seekers wonder about and to be dismissive of them and explain it away as "it's supernatural so deal with it" is something we can't do. I plan to try to get an understanding of these things through His word and His workers. I just wanted to share my questions and encourage anyone who has questions that it's okay to admit that. Seek Him in your doubts and He will show you the answer.